why settle

Why do we do it? We meet someone, we go out a couple times. Yeah, he’s alright, we think. And he does everything right. He calls and texts (but not too much), he does sweet things to let you know he’s into you, he makes and keeps future dates, he opens up. So you let down your guard, you open up, too. And you admit to yourself that you like him. Maybe this time is different?

And then it happens. His calls and texts get shorter and more sporadic. You feel like you’re the one always initiating. And thus begins The Doubt Game. You question everything. Is he not texting as much because he’s more comfortable with me and doesn’t feel the need to, or has he lost interest? Should I call him, or should I wait for him to call me? I’ll wait. That will show me that he’s into me. But it’s been a two days. Maybe he’s doing the same thing, waiting for me to call him. Should I call? Oh god. I’ve gone insane.

You date. It’s been a few months. But it’s not the same. He’s more comfortable with you, yes, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. He’s cancelled or postponed plans a few times because of A, B, C reason. They are all legitimate and understandable reasons. Work. A friend needs him to do something.

He’s just not feeling good. You understand. You accommodate. Because you are understanding and accommodating. You really don’t mind. Isn’t that what a good girlfriend does? Be supportive? Laid back?

But how much is too much? That’s the question.

Relationships are hard, people say. Yes, every individual is different, with different needs and timetables. But I say fuck that. Relationships shouldn’t be that hard.

If a guy likes you, he will go out of his way to show you. If a guy wants to keep you, he will go out of his way to keep you. If other things are a priority in his life other than you, then he won’t. And you will want to accommodate his schedule, his moods, his whims to stay in his life. You’ll call this “being understanding.” You’ll think it’s timing, that soon enough he’ll “grow” or “wake up” or finally realize how wonderful you are, that you’re the one who has always been there through thick and thin. Newsflash, ladies. He most probably won’t. This isn’t Julia Roberts’ latest rom-com. It’s real life.



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